of staffing problems. This week, I will discuss this individual
staffer and why she is suffering unnecessarily and necessarily for
It is clear to me is that since you have been told by your past
as well as current employer and office manager that you do good
work; you have the power of your fate in your hands.
may stay where you are or you may leave and quickly find new employment
in an environment that suits your personal needs.
Of course, your current employer will be happy if you stay, because
of your technical skills, your people skills, and devotion to your
work; and yet you chose to make their happiness more important
than your own.
You have the power to find happiness, and yet you remain working
for people who do not provide you with an essential human
connection that naturally feels good to everyone.
desire to gain some control and influence over this one particular
hurtful and staff insensitive environment makes this problem of
the office a personal problem and that is unhealthy.
While I see that you possess all this power, and while I believe
that you have the wonderful option to stay or leave, you do not
seem to possess a reasonable explanation for remaining in
a place where it does not feel good to connect with the
people you work with: your employer and office manger.
It is important to keep in mind that there are personality types
that enjoy connecting with people, and there are types that prefer
to avoid such contact. One group needs this connection in order
to feel grounded and safe, while the other group
needs the exact opposite experience to accomplish the same feeling.
Why not go and find the type of people just like yourself?
While I believe that I understand why you do not leave, I also believe
that you do not understand why you stay.
Review the following facts:
Your boss does not relate to you.
boss only relates to his money.
Your office manager does not relate to you.
You are very good at your job, but the environment is painful
You enjoy connecting with staff but they are leaving you.
other technicians and assistants have left the practice to find
a satisfying work environment that feels good, you refuse to make
a move on your own behalf.
While your question asks for help to avoid losing more assistants,
I have to tell you that if it is not a problem for the owner
of the business, then it is not your problem. If you insist
on making it your problem, then we have to ask you, WHY?
You are free to stay and you are free to go. Why not look at yourself
and ask yourself why do you choose to remain with the pain? Therein
lies the essence of your question.
continue to maintain a belief system or a value system in
which your expectations of pain and disappointment are familiar
to you and it is for this reason that you remain in this
While you say that you are unhappy and that you tried to quit, the
reality is that you do not have enough of an incentive to
move toward pleasure. I will offer you that pleasure is
not a familiar feeling. Thus, when your employer comes back to you
and gives attention to your desire to leave, you immediately receive
that momentary connection and thus you stay.
On a very personal level, you believe that his promises and his
gestures are the best that you can hold for, but this is simply
am quite certain that the people who have left the practice have
recognized the same in sensitivities, but they believe that they
were entitled to work in an environment that was supportive, nurturing,
and appreciative, whereas such an environment does not enter
into your repertoire of behavioral options.
course he refuses your resignation, and of course, you can be talked
into staying by his promises, because this is a dialogue of interaction
that is familiar to you. However, for most healthy adults, they
recognize that they are entitled to work and feel anything
they choose. It is for this reason that they leave because
this environment does not feel good.
addition, recognizing that there are only criticisms and
no compliments is in all probability a familiar environment for
you, while it is probably not as familiar to your colleagues
who have left.
fact that you allow yourself to get stressed and exhausted also
demonstrates that you are very familiar with feeling pain and frustration,
and you are also very familiar with feeling disconnected and alone.
It is because these feelings are familiar that you remain
with this doctor and this office manager.
do not change their behavior unless they must and as long as you
continue to function in a familiar painful environment, you will
example which supports my contention is that you continue to stay
and accept the brush-off when someone says something hateful. This
is ridiculous. When someone says something hateful, you
either attack them back, or you leave the situation. Under
no circumstances do you remain where there is hate.
You do not come to this basic adult conclusion naturally. I understand
that you would not, but it is still the truth and deserves your
consideration. In such an environment, it makes sense that
the turnover rate would be high, because there are more
healthy people in the world than you want to acknowledge.
I am sure that you consider yourself a healthy individual and that
is perfectly acceptable, but try to recognize that you are pleading
in this question to avoid more turnovers of other people and completely
eliminating your own suffering predicament from the question.
is clear to me that all the assistants left this business for a
good reason and are healthier people than those who stay and suffer
the abuse, the shame, the embarrassment, and insensitivity. These
people have deeper problems than even your boss and office manager.
Consider that your boss and your office manager have figured
out a way to feel safe and secure. Can you make the same
Want your issues answered? Ask the email@example.com.
miss The Coach’s workshops on Dec 6th, Office
Politics ... The Enemy Within. For more information
or call 1-877-900-5775