to understand the dentist better in order that they can better enjoy
their work. Both of these types of questions cover-up a deeper issue.
Despite the fact that human beings are a social species, and despite
the fact that we need each other to survive, another truth is that
we would all like to be recognized as individuals and believe that
we are strong enough alone and do not need the safety of the group.
Although paradoxical, it is more accurate to acknowledge that we
must belong to the group and at the same time be recognized as an
individual with unique talents and the ability to make a singular
I would like to use this week’s column to help dentists and
staff understand each other by explaining the components that we
all bring to work everyday.
There are four components of our personality that we bring
to work. They are natural talent, family values, expressed
interests and activities, and our wants and desires for ourselves.
Natural talents: everyone is born with certain
skills that their body and their brain perform with a high degree
of accuracy and pleasure. The experience of accuracy comes from
the ability for the brain and muscles to focus in on the very small
details. The ability to focus in on small details is a tremendous
asset because the ability to focus and concentrate brings with it
a desire to feel good about achievement.
is born with a natural talent. Some have mental skills
and some have physical skills that provide them an advantage in
the game of life. Recognizing your personal talents will allow you
to use it to your advantage in order to get what you want in life.
The physical talents of an athlete are the best example of a natural
talent that pays off exceptionally well in this country. Money brings
great pleasure to some; however, there are many more examples of
mental skills that afford us the great pleasure of being
confident and competent. Patience is a type of mental skill.
A steady mood is a type of mental skill. Doing a job correctly is
a type of mental skill, and following the directions of a manager
is a mental skill.
Everyone has natural talent and it is the ability to use that natural
talent every day that determines who is happy and who is miserable
in their work. It is important to recognize that you are born with
natural talents, however it remains your responsibility
to identify your natural talent and to use it appropriately
in your own interest. When you use your natural talent in your own
interest, then the interests of your environment will also be served.
Your natural talents are your tools to negotiate through life. You
should first recognize what your talents are and then take pride
in those talents. Finally, continue to exercise those talents so
that you become more talented and acquire greater satisfaction in
Values: we are not born with a personal value system. Your
value system is something that you learn and acquire while growing
up in your family. Whatever behavior and outcome was expected
in your family either became a value that you move toward or a value
that you move away from. The point to be made here is that what
we value is learned and it is not necessarily 100% a matter of choice.
We can learn that people who are quiet are dangerous, and we can
act accordingly. On the other hand, we can learn that people who
are quiet are weak, and we can act accordingly. What you value in
life is really a product of what you have come to expect from your
efforts and the actions of others around you. These expectations
were designed and accumulated from your early experiences with other
people in childhood.
this reason, what you value in life becomes your measure
of the world as you are comfortable knowing it. It is for
this reason that we naturally seek out people who share our values.
People who share our values help us to feel comfortable and safe.
When we are at work, we bring our individual values into the office
and create defensive judgments and establish friendly alliances
based on a need to feel safe. On the other hand, the truth is that
when we come to work, our safety has already been spoken for by
the owner of the business and therefore the only value that we really
should be focused on is making money and enjoying the day.
are those who bring their value system to work, the same
system they learned in their family, and impose it on others with
the expectation of creating safety when there is no need. This is
an example of where values helped to undermine the harmony that
is possible when we recognize that most people in the office share
common values which is to make money and enjoy the day.
of interest: when we begin to combine our natural skills
with the outcomes that we learned from our family values, we find
ourselves moving in a direction. This direction is about what we
do with our lives: the actions and activities we pursue. The important
part to recognize about our interests is that by just being observed
no one will know what your natural talents are and no one could
possibly know what you value in life. As soon as you begin to take
action and make choices, then suddenly people begin to know something
It is essential that you understand that everyone else is observing
us by our decisions, actions, activities. Our activities reflect
those things in our lives that interest us. Thus, what is interesting
to us, not only reflects our skills and our values, but also permits
others to recognize just how much in common they may share with
us. It is no great leap of intellectual capacity to recognize that
people who share similar interests may have similar skills
and values. It is for this reason that people who share
similar interests generally get along.
In the office, it is very valuable to build teams of people who
share similar or overlapping interests, because their skills and
values are likely to permit them to understand and communicate better.
Wants and desires: what do we want from ourselves, what do we want
from others, what do we want from life. The best way to
understand your wants is to perceive it as a quantity: a measure
of effort. Visualize that you have talent combined with
values that lead toward interest in certain activities. Your wants
and desires reflect exactly how much effort (energy) you are more
willing to put into the attainment of success.
is not difficult to see that if your interest is to make money,
then the question becomes how hard will you work, how much effort
will you put in that direction? Although business is all about making
money, the experience at work every day is not necessarily the same
for everyone. Some people want to make money while some
people want to make friends. Others may want to make power
alliances to feel safe while others want to be left alone. The capacity
to win is a measure of the ultimate effort that you will expend
in order to achieve satisfaction in any direction of interest you
are inclined to choose.
much you want is measured in units of energy or effort; however,
what you want is a reflection of interest, and those interests reflect
your values and your personal skills. It is the subject of wants
and specifically what people want from their day at work which brings
us to office politics. Office politics is about similar different
people with different wants sharing the same office space.
More about office politics next week
THE ART OF COACHING is about helping clients to
discover and analyze there talents, values, interests and guiding
them through the process of expressing their wants and desires to
themselves and then to others. Coaching is about finding these natural
attributes and raising them to a level of awareness that allows
the practitioner to feel good about their decisions, their accomplishments,
and their goals to date and beyond.
There are people who do not appreciate or recognize their
natural talents, the origin of their values, and the freedom to
express their interests. These people require the services
of coaching because they cannot see their own talent and value and
the contribution to the larger picture of their life, their family,
their staff, and their patients.
Want your issues answered? Ask the email@example.com.
miss The Coach’s workshops on Oct. 8th, Office
Politics …The Enemy Within, on November 8th,
Your Practice Back – Leaderhip Development for Dentistry.
For more information email firstname.lastname@example.org
or call 1-877-900-5775